Here's a big part of what's wrong with our greed 
filled country today. Until the most ignorant of 
our beloved bleeding heart liberals are finally 
told to shut the hell up and worry about their 
own selves, we'll all have to keep paying for 
their foolish criminal rewards.


2002 Stella Awards

The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella
Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and
successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired
the Stella awards for the most frivolous
successful lawsuits in the United States. The
following are this year's candidates:

1. Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was
awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after
breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was
running inside a furniture store. The owners of
the store were understandably surprised at the
verdict, considering the misbehaving little
toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

2. A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won
$74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran
over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman
apparently didn't notice there was someone at the
wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his
neighbor's hub caps.

3. Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was
leaving a house he had just finished robbing by
way of the garage. He was not able to get the
garage door to go up since the automatic door
opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter
the house because the door connecting the house
and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The
family was on vacation, and
Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for
eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he
found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued
the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation
caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed
to the tune of $500,000.

4. Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was
awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being
bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's
beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's
fenced yard. The award was less than sought
because the jury felt the dog might have been just
a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who
was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

5. A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay
Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500
after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her
coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor
because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend
30 seconds earlier during an argument.


6. Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware,
successfully sued the owner of a night club in a
neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom
window to the floor and knocked out her two front
teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying
to sneak through the window in the ladies room to
avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was
awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.


7. This year's favorite could easily be Mr. Merv
Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr.
Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago
motor home. On his first trip home, having driven
onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70
mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into
the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not
surprisingly, the R.V. left the freeway, crashed
and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for
not advising him in the owner's manual that he
couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded him
$1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company
actually changed their manuals on the basis of
this suit, just in case there were any other
complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.